Met someone but not really sure where it’s going? For those that are a little lost and forever defacing daises and flipping coins to find out, here’s some quick fire pointers depending on what you feel your relationship is…
Please note this isn’t expert advice nor directed at any one particular group of people. Just an individual’s advice on some basic areas, so please adapt this to your own situation as required.
For those that think too much
Relax. Over-thinking isn’t healthy and if anything may blow whatever feelings you had at the beginning out of proportion or make you unnecessarily nervous or over confident. Keep a cool head about it and see where things go.
For those that don’t think enough
Had a card drop through or a person pining for you? Don’t just casually brush it off. Obviously somebody is going to all the effort for a reason. If you don’t feel the same way that’s fine, but make sure this is communicated to them so they don’t feel like they are wasting time or just embarrassed much further down the line.
For those that stare then blink
Sitting on the sideline wondering “what if?” will never get you anywhere. I have missed opportunities in life by (as my friend described it”, sitting and watching the world go by. The opportunity rarely comes around twice, so if you feel something and you have the chance to say it when opportunity knocks, I’d take it there and then. The worst they can say is ‘no’ and at least then you know.
For those with a bottle that link a drink
Alcohol can have a strange effect on us and our perception of the world, often amplifying our emotions like sounds through a speaker. Tread carefully if you’ve had quite a bit as this may impair what you actually feel about what may be a crush and doing something extreme and drastic can often lead to interesting surprises the next day.
If in doubt, remember the advice of Ted Mosby:
When 2am rolls around, just go home and go to sleep. Because the decisions you make after 2am are the wrong decisions.
For those who think “they” are way out there
For those above 18 – are we in High School or something? For those preparing to go to Uni – you’ll soon understand the meaning behind this.
Going out with someone based on social status is an age old societal value that really doesn’t have as much of a place in many modern societies. Sure if it forms as part of your faith then you must respect it, but for most westerners in the post LGBTQ+ revolution people should be able to love whomever they wish regardless of orientation, ethnicity and wealth. Often you can’t control that feeling, so if there opportunity to get to know one another is there, do it. And if something sparks for you, all the better.
For those that have always been there to care
This sadly can sometimes be another alarm bell. If you’ve been together for a while as friends or in a professional relationship, whilst the “Friend Zone” is a bit of a grey area on its boundaries, there is a limit to where you become less likely to work on a romantic level due to becoming comfortable with each other’s company on the level you’re on.
If you feel you can have “banter” with them and be there for each other whilst knowing every secret each one of you shares without feeling anything special about it, then there’s less chance of that excitement and adventure of getting to know and love things about each other happening. Still, if you both feel strongly and yearn for each other, then by all means see how things work out.
If the feeling is more of a sexual nature then perhaps this is a slightly different feeling for each other and not necessarily the grounds for a romantic relationship itself.
For those with dates miles and miles away
In today’s connected world, love and liking has no bounds. With internet dating, chatting over VoIP technologies such as Skype and FaceTime it’s surprising where talking to each other can lead. Not sure if it works, have a look at couples such as Jack and Kass or Chelsea and Chris of Love My Brit in the links on the right, or indeed many of the other LDR couples that both documented their time and advice of helping close the gap.
For those who aren’t sure if it’s there anymore
If you we’re previously a “Red” couple on the famous traffic light scale, but your light feels like it’s slipping to an amber or worse still to a green state, then maybe the two of you need to talk. This doesn’t mean necessarily to end the relationship completely there and then, but it needs to be discussed as soon as you have doubts. I’ve experienced this issue twice, once on each end and leaving it until later on can often have some pretty undesired effects that will compound quite strongly and almost guarantee the end of you two, compared to just talking it out in the beginning and maybe finding a way forward. Just like an operation or a diagnosis on your physical body, the emotional operation here will be understandably scary, may hurt, take time to heal and may not always give you everything you want but like anything in life, it can often be resolved one way or another with a little preparation before things grow beyond control.
And of you’re not quite there yet
Fear not, for you never know what the future has in store…